The games were kind of fun to watch, but mostly it was just a bunch of big tall dudes that I didn't recognize playing non-team-oriented hoops. So in retrospect, it wasn't that great of a time at all. But the nachos were good.
During one of the games, the promotional people picked me at random out of the crowd to shoot baskets. I agreed to it because the winning prize was a copy of EA Sports NBA Live 2008, which I thought might be fun to play on my Wii. So, I reluctantly agreed. When halftime neared and they brought me down to the baseline behind one of the hoops, I was surprised to see that my competition was what appeared to be about a 12-year-old kid. Here is the photo of the contestants at the EA Sports halftime shootout:

Now, when I saw my competition was a little kid, my first thought was "oh great, I am going to look like a jerk beating up on this little kid to win a prize." Those misgivings were quickly put to rest when I got out on the court and realized I had not shot a basket in well over 6 months. We had 1 minute to make as many shots as we could from a spot placed on the court about half way up the edge of the foul lane. In other words, it was a pretty simple little shot. As I took my first shot, the ball seemed a few pounds heavier than I remember a basketball being. Suddenly, the rim seemed higher. I short armed my first couple of shots pretty badly, and in the meantime I heard them announce that my opponent had already hit "1...2....3 !!! It looks like youth is winning this battle of old vs. young!!"
As my shame began to mount, I reeled off another 4 or 5 near airballs and tried harder to focus on jumping and following through on the shot. I started trying to swish them instead of banking them, which only made matters worse. I then heared a loud "YOU SUCK DUDE!!!" come from the crowd. My ego was wilting. The time was ticking...it was announced that only 30 seconds were left and that the "old guy" better get it going. It was then that I started to get in the zone and reeled off a few made shots in a row. But it was not enough. The final tally was 7 made shots for me, and ......(wait for it)...... 23 made by the kid!! It was terrible to feel the shame and humiliation of getting destroyed by a little kid in front of a couple of thousand people (including countless NBA scouts and general managers, by the way. This was my one chance to showcase my skills for them and I squandered it!!). I have to give the kid credit, because to make 23 shots in 1 minute is pretty amazing. I don't know how many he missed, but that is a lot of shots to make in that time. But that is definitely the last time I will voluntarily submit myself to such public disgrace.

5 comments:
That is a day you will regret for the rest of your life. Losing, to a 12 year old, and knowing once and for all that you are not NBA material?!
If you would have prepared, as I have, for that crucial moment you would have succeeded. When I was young I would put pressure on myself. For example I might say, if I make 9/10 free throws then Kerri Coles will have a crush on me. That kind of pressure makes your arms tremble and your knees wobble, but I after 100 tries, I made 9 of 10.
I'm pretty sure Kerri still has a crush on me.
"that is definitely the last time I will voluntarily submit myself to such public disgrace"
Dude. You became a lawyer. What'er you talkin' about?
:)
Touche', Ryan, touche'....
John,
I did read this and while reading it my mind kept turing to Jimmy from the Ellis, who was always breaking the cupboards in the trailers. I am very disappointed in your efforts and expect better
Jimmy at the Ellis - classic! I bet Jimmy could have made more baskets than I did. Shameful!
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